Have you ever had
the experience where someone offers you a gift, and it doesn't suit
you for some reason, but you do not feel comfortable letting the
other person know this? Perhaps you do not find the clothing
attractive or fitting or have no use for the tool or nick-nack, but
you suspect the giver would be offended or hurt if they found out?
It seems a major
route towards the feeling of being trapped by your material
possessions, where “your things own you, you don't own them.”
I plan to give a few
hand-made knitted and fermented food gifts over the next few months,
and I've been considering how to avoid this issue. I'm considering
saying this as I offer the gift:
“I hope this
brings you happiness. If you think it would bring someone else more
happiness than you, then I offer you the pleasure of giving it to
them.”
In this way there is
no emotional trap, there is only pleasure – either the pleasure of
use, or the pleasure of giving, or perhaps both over time. I like
this especially with handmade gifts because there's no pleasure of
returning the item to a store for cash back ;)
